My response, as I am grateful...

I recently read a blog that my dear cousin has written...I read it once, twice, three times! I cried. Okay, maybe a lot of things make me cry - I'm very emotional. However, these were different tears. Each tear I shed in front of my son as I read these heart felt words were emotions of happiness and relief.


I will, in short, express my long story, so here it goes...

My mother and my father were high school sweethearts. They were inseparable and knew what they desired in life - to share it will each other despite anything negative coming their way. They were married shorty after school ended and took care of one another. They were the ideal couple that could never be torn apart.

They found their careers in life, and continued their journey of everlasting love. They found an apartment where they decided to begin to expand their family to three - and brought new life to this world by having my brother - Mark.

My mother started feeling ill, and shortly after was diagnosed with Melanoma (skin cancer). She followed her treatments without much support. To my knowledge, she was extremely proud and determined to follow through on her own without much conversation within the family.

During this time, her determination also lead her to the thought of continuing this family treasure. She wanted a baby girl. The doctors told her that she should focus on herself first. She wouldn't wait... she had a dream and knew that it was one that she could call her own.

My mother became pregnant again and was gleaming with joy through her entire pregnancy. She continued to love all of those around her and did not take this beautiful life of hers for granted. Soon after, she welcomed this new baby girl into this world that she named Kristy-ann, on February 19, 1980.

After I was born, my mother was transferred to the General Hospital where she and my father learned that she was dying and had only a few months to live. This was devastating to all involved.

All good things come to an end, as they say, and my mother passed away peacefully in her bed on November 8, 1980.

My father moved his job from Montreal to Calgary, where he invited my Grandma and my Great Aunt Lucie to raise my brother and me. He had escaped all of the visual memories he shared with his lover, his best friend. What he did not expect, was the impact of the reality that kicked in when he learned that he was diagnosed with schizophrenia.

My Grandma and Great Aunt battled many years of hospital visits and "episodes" with my father having an incurable illness, and meanwhile, many court visits to gain custody of brother Mark and myself.

After many years of going without the traditional mother and father in my life, I decided to take things into my own hands at 16 years old. If I could not have that parent figure in my life, then I will be one myself. I had my beautiful son on October 3, 1997 and will never think twice about it. I made the right decision at the right time.

Dominic is a blessing to me. The day he was born, was the day I was born - again. There is no greater feeling in this world as there is being a mom. There are ups and downs, and at the end of the day, he loves me unconditionally to the end of time!

There was always something that was missing down this long road. My family. I still had the desire to know where I came from.

I have made many trips back home - to Montreal - to search for this life I longed for. On my most recent trip was when i finally conquered this feeling. I had the opportunity to get to know my family on my mothers side. I have many cousins, aunts, uncles and my "Nanny" aka Grandma.

After all of these years, I finally found that sense of 'belonging' that people search their entire lives for. My family welcomed me with open arms and greeted me with love immediately without hesitation.
I will not even for a moment take this for granted. I love my family with all of my heart. I will never forget the words spoken as they say, "we are family and don't you forget it" as I was stuck in traffic one day trying to venture to them so we can all go horseback riding. They waited for me, and I will always treasure those words as they were intended.

My cousin, Brenda, who was named after my mother, has inspired me in such a way, that I find it difficult to truly express with the appropriate words. We have kept in contact through similarities we share. Writing! We both find the best way to get out what we need, without the burden on others. We are sneaky like that. This we share 3000 km's away.

Brenda, you are truly a gift in my life, and I thank you, immensely, for taking the opportunity and allow me to get to know you, and also for taking the time to get to know me.

We will forever be family with a bond that will only strengthen with time.

My love and thoughts go out to you.

Thank you for reading my thoughts.

xoxoxo Kristy